Sometimes it is difficult
to take a step back and ponder the ineffable, to really sit down and reflect on
what it means to be. It is, however, very important that we take the time to do
these things. Life can be very stressful, hard-going, and chaotic, but if we do
not stop to listen to our inner-selves, then we end up missing the point. So, I
set up a little spot in my bedroom, allowing me to unpack, destress, and listen
to my inner voice. I placed my grandfather’s black and silver rosary on the
floor in the shape of a circle. At the center of the circle I placed a candle. At
one side of the candle I put a colourful little statuette of St. Teresa of
Avila, and on the on the other, I positioned a statuette of St. Benedict of
Nursia. I visited this spot three times: two times at night, once with the
candle alight, and one time during the morning while the birds were chirping
from out of my window.
The
first time was quite nice. I spent most of the time praying out loud, and
saying snippets of the rosary. It was then that I lit the candle. It was
pleasant, and also strangely reminiscent of an earlier time in my life when I
had a peculiar desire to form circles of things, such as the wooden replica of
Stonehenge I had made in my backyard while living in the countryside as a young
boy. For some reason or another, the act of building or replicating stone
circles stirred something deep within me. Now, as I become more aware of my
spirituality, it seems that this act has become a deeper and more symbolic
gesture towards God. As I sat next to my little creative spiritual spot, I endeavoured
to cultivate reverence, not only to God, but to the shred of divinity from within.
I placed the statuettes closer to the candle, as though they were gathered
round a fire. St. Teresa, St. Benedict, and myself, all gathered around a
little candle. It was a moment. Indeed, ever since the invention of fire,
humankind has had a sense of something greater than themselves, and it was at
this moment that I may have also felt that sense of Otherness in an surreal
blend of the ancient world and my own Catholic religious heritage in the
present moment.
The
second visitation was perhaps not as lovely as the first, but resulted in a physical
sensation. I was having a hard time sleeping, and I felt the need to go to the
place I had created for myself. I prayed some more, and I felt a shiver go up
my spine. Later, I drifted into a
deep sleep. The third time was in the morning, I simply made myself a cup of
tea, and sat down and contemplated. The birds outside were singing their
praises, and I sat silently, listening to my inner-self. I kept telling myself
not to worry about things, and to be at peace, and to trust in the Lord. And if
I put the Lord first in all that I do, then things will gradually start to calm
down, and I start to become myself again. And so, I listened to what my
inner-voice was telling me, and I began to relax, and I felt better. From this
it seems that the Sacred manifests itself in ways that are often physical, but
always evokes something from within. It is important to be properly initiated,
and to be receptive to the Sacred. Perhaps in order to develop a sense of the
sacred, we also need to be reverent, and take the time to be reflective, and
most importantly to listen.
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